My husband and I vacation A Lot! I’m sure people judge the fact that we schedule a good 5-6 getaways per year with one intentional vacation of at least one week in length. We, much like you, have a lot going on. Allow me to give you a quick snapshot:
My husband and I work full time jobs, we are working toward licensing as Marriage and Family therapists, we are in the process of opening a new business coupled with the real estate business which is already draining, not to mention the new book we are writing coupled with the “Get a Grip on Your Marriage” retreat we are scheduled to hold August 25th-26th (shameless plug). We do all of this while trying to make Ms. Brooklyn a priority by visiting her every day.
I don’t say all of that to brag about being super busy because all of us could list out our responsibilities in the same fashion. I share that because it is the reason we feel the need to unplug from the matrix as often as we possibly can. It’s the reason we take joy in the last-minute weekend jaunt to the beach or the invite to a retreat or quick getaway. We need that time to “relax, relate and release” in the words of the great Whitley Gilbert.
Vacations have helped us slow the ride down so we could get off, if only for a minute. They have allowed us to get back in touch with one another, and they have even saved our marriage when we were all but headed to divorce court. I know people don’t believe that, but trust me when I say a good vacation can remind you ‘Why you got married” when the reasons seem to escape you.
So now I ask the question: How often do you and your spouse vacation? How often do you get away to no distractions and no interruptions (translation: NO KIDS)? How often do you take time for just the two of you to re-engage with one another? If you have to think about it, then it’s time to get to planning. If money is at issue, start small. Take a trip an hour away, stay at an inexpensive bed n breakfast with a wonderful veranda or a cheap hotel with a nice pool. Have your romantic Bic-Mac and fries on a blanket in the park instead of in the car, and make the best of what you have. If money is not the issue, it’s time to schedule uninterrupted quality time away. Unplug, I promise since Rome was not built in a day, it will not fall apart while you are away. And if it does you built it once, just go back and build it again.
Why do I stress the getaway so adamantly? When we get bogged down with the cares of life, the relationship is the first thing to go. Everyone gets our quality time and we pass out once we get together. Let’s fight for our marriages, for our homes and for our families by making our relationship a priority and unplugging from the matrix.
- Remember to leave the cares of life at home. If you spend the time away on your cell phones working on home issues, you may as well have stayed home. We purposely cruise annually and refuse to buy the cellular package, first because we’re cheap, but also because it forces us to talk, and truly unplug when we get into those international waters. You’d be surprised at the level of deep conversation you can get into when there’s no one else to talk to but your spouse
- NO ARGUMENTS. Table all arguments until you return. By then the two of you will hopefully be so blissful there will be no reason for it.
- Love , Love , Love on one another. Take this time to act like silly giddy teenagers again. Whatever it takes, make it great!
- Pray for your relationship in this time away. Pray that God sustain and keep it and that He shows both of you how to effectively love one another
Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest
(Matthew 11:28, ESV)
The true shameless plug:
Join us for a the “Get a Grip on Your MArriage Retreat” There is still space available:
You will never regret investing in your marriage!