The CMM 7 Day Love Challenge Take II

It’s been three months so it’s about that time.

ARE YOU UP TO THE CHALLENGE?

We’ve all seen or tried at least one of the

   CMM Love Challenge 2

7 Day Challenges circulating around the internet (I’ve tried 3, I was easily sucked in by the ultra-thin waist lines and toned arms and legs). These got me to thinking. What if we put the same energy into building our marriage that we put into building (or shrinking) our bodies.

Hence I was inspired to design a 7 Day Love Challenge. The love Challenge is completely free to you and will hopefully rekindle the fire if it’s fading and just add some more fuel if your love’s already ablaze.

The couples who participated in the first challenge were forced to live laugh and love together. So let’s do it again!

The official start date will be Monday November 30, 2015.

The challenges will be things you can do together like read, pray, eat, talk etc… There will also be bonuses and dares thrown in there to make it interesting. You will earn up to 10 3 points per day by completing the challenges and submitting a picture/video to prove it:


1 point for reporting your challenge completion
1 point for the challenge pic or video
1 point for the Bonus w/pic or video

I will post all challenges and Dares the evening before they are due, and all Challenges and Dares must be completed and posted before 11:59 PM the night they are due. 


You will be capable of earning 21 points total at the end of the week. There will only be 1 Grand Prize winner so in the case of a tie the Love Challenge continues for those contestants until one wins. In this situation the 11:59 PM rule will be strictly adhered to for each day until a winner is declared.

If you’ve already responded via FB I will invite you to our private group, if you haven’t received that invitation please contact me again just to be sure. Also if you’d like your spouse to be added to the group please have him/her contact Sheldon or me here or via FB.

Otherwise please reply in the comment section here.

 

Feel free to share with any competitive couples you know, that’s if you’re not afraid of a little healthy competition!!!

 

What 

The Christian Marriage Matters 7 Day Love Challenge

When

November 30, 2015

Where

Facebook and http://www.ChristianMarriageMatters.com

Why

Because Your Christian Marriage Matters

How

With your spouse and online daily for 7 days.


                                                                                                SO WHO’S IN

 

 

 

I Didn’t Think It Was Cheating

 

cheating

 

I recently read the story of a man who received oral gratification from a random woman at a party. His response when asked why he didn’t share it with his wife was, “I didn’t think it was cheating”. So with ignorance of this caliber, let’s create some parameters, some guidelines, and some things to avoid:

  1. Avoid any form of physical touch beyond a friendly distanced hug or handshake. When private parts are exposed and fondled in any way, you are officially cheating.
  2. Avoid relationships you look forward to more than being with your spouse. I’m not talking about the night out with the fellas or ladies day. I’m not even speaking of dangerous liaisons where you plan to have a sneaky rendezvous of some sort. I’m speaking of that daily meeting you find yourself looking forward to, the response you get from ordering his special coffee each day because you were getting yours anyway. Intelligent adults can recognize the warning signs when you take the time to think about it.
  3. Avoid anything you wouldn’t do in front of your spouse. The flirtation, the compliments even some of the playful banter. I’m sure this wonderfully wise young man who “didn’t think it was cheating” would never participate in his escapade in front of the wife he claims to love so much.
  4. Avoid situations you begin to make excuses for. When people notice and begin to call you names like “work spouse” or “husband and wife” it is time to make some change. If you find yourself doing things for that individual that you only do for your spouse, there is a breach.

 

 

Why so extreme you ask? Extramarital affairs are one of the top reasons for divorce among married couples. It is a violation of the marital bond and leaves painful reminders of some level of failure in the relationship. Many people internalize extramarital affairs. Whether it is the perpetrator or the victim, there is often some level of blame placed on both by both. Sadly extramarital affairs are truly the enemy’s number one way to destroy the bond that can put him to flight. The Bible frequently addresses the power in two (Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12; Matthew 18:19-20). When a marriage is torn apart the enemy realizes we sacrifice some of the power we hold.
 

Sadly, the parameters of an affair have changed so often that the definition has become obscure to say the least. Some define it as any romantic or sexual encounter with someone other than one’s spouse. Others define it as sexual intercourse with someone other than one’s spouse. With this variance it is difficult to recognize whether your side relationship is a full blown affair or a dangerous tightrope walk of temptation waiting to become a full blown affair.

 

 

Recognize extramarital affairs have been happening since the beginning of time and the enemy continues to use this trick because “IT STILL WORKS”.  Everyone thinks it can’t happen to them until it does. The warning is: remember affairs hurt all involved. There is no win and everyone loses. When you find yourself in the midst or even just getting close to the fire RUN. The Bible reminds us’ “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you”. James 4:7

 

Be proactive about saving your marriage

  1. Cut off all contact to this individual.
  2. Seek counseling for you individually and for you as a couple to figure out where the root originates.
  3. Find an accountability partner
  4. Think through the future. Think about the pain this will cause your spouse, your children, the extended family, the church, and any relationships that has anything to do with you and your spouse. Sometimes we underestimate the pain affairs inflict on others. Think about it before you go there.
  5. Think about the pain inflicted on your savior and the bruising of your witness that will result.
  6. Finally think about Tyler Perry’s 80/20 rule. Your spouse provides 80% of what you need and want. The affair provides about 20%. Who in their right mind would you risk losing 80% simply to gain 20?

 

Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband”.

Ephesians 5:33, New King James Version

Each One Teach One 

Although I don’t know exactly where this saying originated, it has been attributed to African proverbs as well as some African American norms. The whole premise supports mentoring one another rather than depending on some system to do it. The older generation was responsible to take on a mentee and teach them all they know, since hindsight is 20/20.

What if this applied to marriage?

What if every couple who was married over ten years took on the responsibility of mentoring a couple who was married less than five. Then if each couple who’s been married over 20 years took on a couple who was married under 10 years and so on, and so on and so on. This would provide friendship, camaraderie, a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. It would help a struggling couple make it through and a stable couple laugh at themselves for silly petty disagreements. Couples would be able to be vulnerable and comfortable and most importantly to grow.

The concept is more Biblical than you may know. Look at Elijah and Elisha, Eli and Samuel and even Mordecai and Esther. These are examples where mentoring made a great difference in the life and destiny of an individual. Wouldn’t it be great to make the difference in someone’s marriage? 

Now back to mentoring in marriage. The idea is for you to take time with a couple who has less experience than you in this great adventure we call marriage. The other side of this challenge however is for you to avail yourself to the mentorship of a healthy couple that has more experience than you. This means a willingness to watch, listen and learn. Learn the little things that make their marriage work. Things like the way he rubs her feet at night or she gets up and makes his coffee before he leaves the bed. These are the all important little things that can make or break a healthy marriage. This is also a willingness to be told when your ‘stuff stinks”. You give that couple permission to call you on your mess without offense or retaliation. The most important point in these relationships is actually building “relationship”. This will hopefully develop into a lifelong friendship between two couples in order to make your marriage easier to navigate.  

So your mission for the week, the month, the lifetime is to find these two couples and get down to the all-important work we will term:

‘Each one teach one’
As iron sharpens iron,

So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.

Psalm 27:17, New King James Version.